Getting to the root of the problems.

(being silly before her procedure)

So I have felt like I've tried to be patient with our pediatrician(s) regarding the regular vomiting that Addi has done since birth...and really not so much the entire time I breastfed, around 10 1/2 months. Sometimes she'd just plain gorge herself and projectile but that wasn't anything I didn't do as a baby.
But really, enough has been enough. I think in my last post I explained that its random puking, she is fine, acts fine but she is to the point that she feels sad or guilty when we have to clean up after her or it embarrasses her when we are out in public. I mean who wouldn't it do that to, right? I think about elementary and that kid who gets sick...the trauma of other kids seeing it, making fun (yea, we all know it happens whether its my own child or yours) but it can hurt kids and I don't want her to hurt any more mentally or even with physically throwing up. Its just not normal. Then there is the issue of going to a preschool or elementary school and this continuing. I'd be very close to a truancy officer I'm sure!
I believe not for any particular reason other than the fact that our pediatrician was diagnosed with cancer and we worked to just see who we needed to when we needed to because in all honesty she hasn't been sick...we've done routine yearly check ups with a bout of congestion here or there, nothing serious though and we were continuously reassured each time we did go, with logs of throwing up, that she was within her weight range and height. She does eat good, well the things she wants to eat which we found out probably weren't helping the throwing up. She loves spaghetti, lasagna - anything Italian (guess she just comes by it honest since its in her momma's blood) ha! For the past few consecutive times we have seen Dr. Coffman and he began to listen - mainly because I was forcing the issue. We went for bloodwork at Childrens (which resulted in my identity being stolen ... 7 credit cards open or attempted to be open all of which were maxed out before I ever even got the first one in the mail, another blog in iself!)

Bloodwork came back fine so we were referred to a pediatric G I, Dr Devoid. Heard both good and a few bad scenarios but my mom does work with his ex wife who did make a call to him and just gave a little background. Fortunately I've been force to take some time off with Addi since Nana is on vacation this week. Meghan was nice enough to keep her on Tues. She took Mady & Addi to the creative discovery museum, big river grill and then home to play in the water. I'm so very lucky to have such incredible friends in my life who love not only me, but our entire family. I feel like they too are all my family. I'm blessed.

So we met with Dr. Devoid who confirmed how we'd always felt, that reoccuring vomiting is NOT normal in children over the age of 18 months and that we'd order an upper GI imediately. I think I was a bit confused because I thought we were immediately having an endoscopy & that she'd have to be put to sleep and maybe we will have that eventually but this morning we went to Chatt Imaging in Hixson, they really were so wonderful. Addi thought she super special b/c we got our own waiting room with Handy Manny and the Mickey Mouse clubhouse to watch. She just didn't understand why she could drink anything, that is until they tried to get her to drink the barium drink. It was grape flavored and shouldn't have been a big deal but the whole sensitivity to smells then causes her to gag. I will say she may not look like her momma but this girl is me made over when it comes to willpower (and attitude at times). It was pure torture. I felt so helpless I had to leave the room crying. At that point I think the nurse felt better if I left as well so that she could just try to make her get it down. I regained my composure and one of the ladies watching the images being taken just explained what was going on & how they were able to catch a great image of her trying to throw the drink back up. The whole staff was very comforting and helpful in trying to put us at ease. DEFINITELY SEVERE ACID REFLUX!!! I'm not certain if I will even hear from the dr today or what the next steps are but at least we did leave our initial appt with Dr Devoid with Nexium (not covered by our insurance - or any for that matter) and we still have the zofran but I'm hoping we can wean off of that knowing the severity of the reflux. Just with doing the nexium in her apple sauce at lunch yesterday there was never a hint of gag or that she may throw up.

So, even by this picture you can tell, this morning was super stressful and just glad I've had the last 3 days with my girl. Needless to say we left the procedure, stopped by to see YaYa (and started smiling again!!) then headed to Target where we walked out with 3 movies, some stickers, headbands, a leotard for our tumbling class we started (jeesh I'm way behind in blogging huh?) Our time together this week has really been priceless and so sweet. Although we haven't packed our days in busy we've just had some good old fashion quality time snuggling and hanging out. Much needed!

I must say that I know God is in control although sometimes I get overwhelmed in knowing I can't control her being completely healthy or incredibly sick....I'm blessed for those that he puts into our lives to help shed some light in either their own situations & perspectives. And for those in the medical industry who are really there to help us and often get misrepresented/mistreated ESPECIALLY by myself, since I work in the insurance industry, and I often fight fights for those that can't afford the necessary procedures they may need. I'm grateful for the job my husband has and that I'm able to no matter the situation walk in and know that my family is going to get the care that they need. I just know regardless of the issues we endure we are still incredibly blessed and sometimes I just need to "close the complaint door" as my Bible for mothers tells me.

I will continue to update and honestly sometimes facebook gets out of control with knowing each others business and the personal stuff we post but in all honesty I've had more people praying for my family and well its sometimes just nice to see all the believers out there standing up and putting their faith in our God to take care of us and not afraid to show it. Thank you all!!!

I could NEVER make this stuff up!

Life with Addi is absolutely the most fun. I mean the stuff this child comes up with are things that I could NEVER in my wildest thoughts come up with....Here are just a few Addi(ism's)....

Addi: "don't leave just yet babe, I wanna kiss you bye!"

Addi on the death of Grammy & Papaw's cat Sasha....."I need God's phone number to call and check on Sasha"

Addi: while in a public restroom she squats down and is a peeping tom...."Look mom, her panties are cute aren't they?"

Addi: "Shut the door it stinks in here, I'll tell ya when I'm done!" (pic below)

At 9pm at night we hear screams for help, only to find Addi looking like the Michelin Man. She had on everything in the pic below. I wish I would have gotten a pic but she was freaking out and I just needed to get her stripped down.

5 pairs of pants.....4 shirts.....3 pairs of shorts....and 2 night gowns all over the night gown she had on. WOW!!!

I love this girl with all of my being but if any of the things that have happened in the past 3 yrs is a preview of the next 3 well then we've got our hands full!!! But I believe we already knew that!

Remember This???

I was going through some old photo's and found this.....I literally laughed out loud (and can NOW) when I saw this little mischievious face. I can vividly hear her cute little mousy voice when she said, "I just wanted some Wo-tion momma." Let's just say it takes some serious kitchen soap to degrease butt paste ~ Enjoy a good laugh!

Brave Heart

Ironically when I walked into work today there was a Blood Assurance flyer on the door for a blood drive. Typically I've always got an excuse as to why I don't have time to donate blood....really its just my own self being a baby because I don't like needles at all. I must say though my perspective on both giving blood and how tough (emotionally & physically) our little girl really is.

Most of you know the battle we have had with Addi throwing up 2-3x a week if not more. The dr's have never been really concerned because of the fact that she's always in the 50-75th percentile for weight and continued to gain weight but seriously who likes to throw up? Not to mention that it usually happens when we are in a restuarant or if we are at a birthday party (for kids) & we scare the beejesus out of everyone thinking we have a virus or something. And most importantly its just plain sucks to watch her child say "I don't want to throw up" & then there it is. Her sense of smell is ridiculous - she can smell food which then causes her to gag or even throw up. This is just constant. For instance the other day we were laying in bed & I was eating a vanilla oreo. She looks at me, says what are you eating & then gagged. Its just constantly like this & so unfair to her. We addressed it at her 3 year check up so we were given orders for blood work & a stool sample culture.

I got even luckier when I posted on FB that I was dreading taking her to T.C. Thompson for all of this....a girl I played ball with in high school & now see all the time in our slow pitch leagues actually works in the lab there. She told me when she worked & she was so ready for us when we arrived. Deanna, if you happen to read this, you are wonderful.....I didn't sleep a wink for thinking about this & how traumatizing it might be. I was warned they take a good bit of blood, or at least a lot for a 3 yr old. Daddy met us there after working all night & you could tell that both he & I were much more ancy than Addi was. She was discussing with us as we walked down the hall of the hospital "what are they gonna do with my poop?" (let's just say I will not give the details of me racing Addi to put seran wrap on the toilet in hopes of catching poop! She thought that was fun)

I introduced Addi to Deanna, who just so happen have Nemo & Dori ALL over her scrub top, yet another reason she's fabulous. Addi hopped up into my lap, she was very hesitant & was getting to that "I'm not doing anything I don't want to" stage when Deanna started showing Addi my viens and stuff. She said you might feel a little stick - I grabbed my phone & started showing Addi all of our pics from our girls lunch & pedicure with Arden. She was telling Deanna all about it when the next thing I knew the needle was in & blood was coming out.....LOTS of it, uhhhh feeling faint just talking about it.

So hopefully this will give us some answers. They are testing for all food allergies, celiac disease, & so many other things I just don't have a clue what. If this doesn't provide any answers I guess we are back to the drawing board & may visit an ENT to see if the gagging/sensitivity to smell has anything to do with the ears. Keep sweet Addi in your prayers please - its just pitiful to see her go through this when nothing "major" seems to be wrong. I just know that if we don't get some clear answers I may have to quit my job completely when she starts a real day care or school. We all know people tend to freak when they see puke, me on the other hand - well I've learned to just catch it, scoop it, hide it and SANITIZE, SANITIZE, SANITIZE!!!

One day she will eat these words.....

One day when she's 38, closing in on 40, she is going to remember the day, b/c I will tell her, when she wanted to be 5 not 3....which would now make her 40 not 38.

Addi turned 3 over the weekend and well when you're an only child (as was her momma) you make a weekend of it. I used to get the whole month, then I got married....Josh settled for a week. Now a days I'm lucky if I get the actual day. ha! I took off on Friday and let Addi choose a friend to go have pedicures and lunch. She wanted Arden to go with her. I love that she loves Arden as much as I love Arden's momma. Its even sweeter because they rarely get to play or even see each other yet I still hear her in her room talking on her cell phone having a conversation with Arden all the time, or even better that she randomly will say how much she misses or loves her. Gotta love the heart of a child, huh?!
So anyway we picked Arden up & headed to get pedi's. Addi explained to her the whole way that it tickles & she laughs a lot. Watching these girls was just the funnest. They picked out their colors & both wanted pok a dots. Funny thing is that one picked green & wanted pink pok a dots & the other chose pink & wanted green pok a dots. They loved it & had so much fun but was definitely ready to hit Chick fil a for ice cream & the playground....um, I was more interested in the original chicken sandwich with no pickle please. After one tea spill, ice cream in the hair, ice cream in Arden's hair b/c of Addi they were eager to hit the playground. I could hear the shrills & screams from my window view. They had so much fun together & Arden wasn't very happy that I was taking her back to the shop, she wanted to come to our house and had Addi not needed a nap we'd taken her in a heartbeat.
Saturday was her actual birthday and we had her party at the Spiritbarn in Hixson. Fab....fab....fab....especially for summer birthdays when its blistering hot out. Its also awesome for those mom's who go to parties & have to do more work to keep their rollers/crawlers out of things. Here you can put the kids down & they can run wild. They ALL ran wild....even us adults.
We were all pooped and hit the hay early that night. Needless to say it was a success & I can't even believe I have a 3 yr old. I just have no idea where the time has gone. I love that little girl with all my heart & am very blessed to be her momma.
We love you Addi Grace!!! Happy 3rd Birthday!

So excited for girls day with Arden!

(who cares that mom

took the day off to spend with her)

Loving her Grammy & Papaw

My family

YaYa, Addi & Mommy....Group Hug!

NON STOP!!!

She literally loved on every gift and said Thank

you before I could give reminders....what a good

girl!

Ohhhh Yeah!!! MAKE UP!!!!!!!

Another year "burnt"

Straw...straw....ba...ba berry....

Strawberry Shortcake!!!

Dessert with Arden

Big girls getting their toes painted

Andi...this is SO fun!

Birthday Girl!

Hot...Hot....Hot!!!

Super Star


Wanting to be just like Maddie


Mommy is silly

Brad is even more silly

Gosh I love my family!

Do you see what I see????

Loves her daddy!

Just catching some rays

Riding tractors at the Cookie Jar


Such a diva

Man its HOT!!! I def do not remember it being this HOT this early unless I think back to about 3 years ago when I was about to pop at this time so maybe my judgement is a little cloudy. ha!

We've been busy just doing fun stuff as Miss Addi requests, needless to say that swimming has been a huge part of it. Above are just some pics of our happenings lately. Hope you enjoy and stay tuned.....some one is turning 3 very soon!

Happily Ever After

Josh's cousin Kim got married on May 1st. Their wedding ceremony was literally a page out of a fairy tale. I loved the fact that Kim allowed herself to have so much fun and be very light hearted about her wedding. I was probably, ok not probably I was, more uptight and stressed than the bride was. You know that discussion in my last post about that little girl that won't do anything ESPECIALLY if you ask her to or if all the attention is on her WELL she struck again. Kim asked Addi, and 4 other little girls to be "fairies" instead of flower girls in her wedding. Let me just say that there is by far a difference in an almost 3 yr old and almost 4, 5, or 6 yr olds. Can you guess who the lone defiant fairy was? I must say though when it came time to walk down the aisle she did just that, with much help from Caroline, Chloe & about 8lbs of sugar in suckers & candy..... and high tailed it to momma. The wedding was fun with music from 101 Dalmations, Cinderella and many other Disney movies and the ceremony was beautiful. We are so happy for Kim & Michael and thank them for including us in their special day.

Ready for Rehearsal

If I would have allowed it she so would've worn this ALL day!

Walking with Caroline

The bride with her fairies & their momma's

The Lewis clan (MOST of us)

Family Photo

Just a few of the Lewis ladies (Anne, me, Stephanie & Sherri)

Dancing during the father / daughter dance

(if that doesn't make your heart melt I don't know what would!)

Sherri & Rick, me & Josh, Anne & Allen during the reception

Time Out....SOCCER MOM!!

I think I deserve to put myself in TIME OUT for the lack of blogging. Our laptop is on the "DL" list and I've been putting off taking it to Best Buy for the Geek Squad to look at it and say "we have to send it off!"

I used to have a little down time at work that I could catch up on blogging occassionally but those days are so long gone its not even funny. Not funny at all.

So in a nutshell the Lewis' really haven't slowed down any even though the blogging has. We signed Addi up for soccer. Its been a learning experience for ALL of us. I think that if you have ever met Addi you know she's by far not shy. Usually she's having deep conversations with those she meets atleast 45 seconds into their meeting however soccer is a completely different story. The day before I stood in the Target aisle of shinguards, soccer balls, socks etc.....thinking to myself "where did the time go?" I seriously was trying to not let the tears that were building in my eyes to actually slide down my check as I grabbed the pink & white shinguards and jetted.

Day 1 of soccer - Addi woke up, bright and early of course, and was so excited about soccer. She put her shinguards on about an hr and a half before it was time to even leave the house. She carried her ball with her like a big girl and was talking all about soccer......we got to the field where our team (which consists of 5 kids and 10 parents...ha!) was warming up. WELL our team was short a member for the first game. Addi wouldn't step foot on the field, didn't want any party of it so she and I sat on the sidelines and just talked about the team, the field, the game, we also discussed the birds, who that was walking across the field, why THAT GIRL had her ball and anything you could think of that didn't have a thing to do with soccer. I think we went to the potty twice. Just as she was gearing up, said "I'm ready to play" it was "snack time" and the game was over. Needless to say it was a little stressful....I promised myself I wasn't going to get all ancy or uptight if things didn't go according as planned. (thats a whole blog in itself!)

The second week was better, not perfect but she at least tried. She kicked, ran but I will tell you when anyone cheers for her or tries to tell her good job she goes into panic mode, shuts down and is D-O-N-E, at least until she wants to be. She is ALL WOMAN!!!! We missed our 3rd and 4th game because of scheduling conflict with Addi being in Josh's cousin Kim's wedding (and yet another blog, jeesh I am behind, huh?). So tonight will be our last game & pictures. Needless to say this year was a learning experience for all of us. I just want her to be active. I don't care what she does, although we are extremely bias to softball....however what ever she wants to do we will be 100% behind as long as she is learning something & getting some sort of exercise and interaction with other kids. So here is to being a soccer mom, at least for 1 whole day!

Um, I think I'll hang here

with my mom.

If .......you will just kick it

mommy will take you to Chick Fil A

Ok, but just 1 time!

All that decision making on whether to play

sure did work up an appetite.

Do not regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many. ~Author Unknown

So this past week was a big week for me, in the perspective of years that is. I turned 30 whether I wanted to or not. I chose to go ahead with it. People keep asking me am I ok with it. Well for one do I have a choice? Uh, no but I do have a choice in how I perceive this "milestone" of a birthday. I wouldn't consider it a milestone as I think each year that I'm healthy enough to make it to see another birthday is in itself a milestone. I'm happy to turn 30. I feel like I'm starting a new chapter or heck even a whole new book in a way. I've never felt better - spiritually, physically & emotionally. I'm learning new things about me every day....some things I don't like, those I'm working on and other things I love - I do love me. That may sound so conceited and I don't mean it that way at all. I learned from Susan to learn to love me first, b/c if I love me then I'm willing to love others whole heartedly and I know that I'm worthy of being loved. And man.....am I ever loved. From the minute I put my foot on the ground that morning it was nothing but thoughtfulness all day long. I got some of the cutest gifts from wine glasses & stationaries to what some like most....$$$ & gift cards. I was told repeatedly how much I was loved, appreciated and thought of. There are so many people that continue to show me just how much I'm loved. My husband for one - forked over his wallet to Starla, Britt & Meg so that I could have a party I'd never forget. Every single detail of my birthday was so special. Mom made sure I had the oohhh la la boots I'd been wanting - Addi told me over and over Happy Birthday Mommy in the sweetest singing voice ALL day long. We had Formosa for dinner, yummy! I had one of the best cakes that Publix makes from the office. Seriously folks this cake was to die for. Its one of their signature desserts.

People were so thoughtful in the gifts they gave, which were so not even needed or expected. I'm just so blessed. Meghan designed the most adorable invitations & Starla made sure that I had the cutest of cute cakes for the party....and from what I hear my hubby was a champ b/c it wasn't cheap!!! And well probably the most favorite and most thoughtful gift.....Britt apparently had emailed folks asking for their addresses, most of the invite list actually. She sent them a letter which included a self addressed envelope & colored construction paper. Each person was to write down as many memories on separate sheets that they had that included me & them - they sent them back to her prior to the party. She put all of those memories into a "memory box" for me which was also on the cake table at my party for others who didn't get to participate with the mailing. When I opened the first piece of paper that read "I will never forget going ring shopping and planning the proposal for Starla" - Jeremy Painter....well I started crying.

There were memories from Jr High, memories from high school, college, maternity days, and so very recent days......it was so incredibly thoughtful. I have literally read them over & over & over. Some are so hilarious that I laugh out loud and some....well, some are like "memoirs of Marilyn Monroe", that is they will be taken to the grave. ha! If you know me well then you know that this gift meant more to me than any thing with a price tag. I have so many people that I love and to hear what our relationships with each other meant to them is truly priceless.

I feel like although I know there will be hardships to face, whether its death, the roller coaster of marriage, parenting, that I'm blessed and I love my life & everyone in it. I'm blessed with a husband who respects & loves me and a daughter that is healthy & makes me smile a smile no one else can.

So I say to the question of "how do you feel about turning 30?".......Bring on the Memories!