Ready or not 2009 is here. NYE was very low key for us & I couldn't have asked for anything more. We had dinner @ Hennen's which was most excellent & headed back to Jeremy & Starla's to ring in the New Year Wii style. We were in bed by 12:14 (and it was great!)"Resolutions", no....Modifications, YES! I just hate to set these goals only to fail at them. Maybe its not really failing at them but its putting a lot of emphasis in numbers on a scale, the number of outgoing bills, etc. We do have certain goals we want to reach this year & honestly they aren't too far from last years so really, why do that to myself?
I am trying to promise myself that I'm not trying to lose weight to be skinny. What I would like to acheive is a healthy eating lifestyle. Not only for me but Josh & Addi. Its not that we don't eat healthy its portion control on both of our parts so last night after I kicked my own tail at the gym I went home to a fully cooked delicious meal, spaghetti. I'm pretty certain what made it so darn good was the fact that I didn't make it. Josh had the table set, bread in the oven and the main course completely done when I walked in the door. So day 1 of this whole eating lighter thing. I can promise you I will eat what I want to eat but I did make my plate on one of Addi's plates & surprisingly enough I was full after much smaller portion than I am used to. I won't even begin to describe Josh's heaping plate. With all the death I faced in 2008 I worry about the years to come. Not because I don't believe just more selfishness. I want to grow old & wrinkly with the love of my life, I want to watch him walk our daughter down the aisle, I want us both there to welcome grandchildren into our lives so I tend to worry when it comes to our health. I just think we both could live healthier lifestyles & I kind of feel that we owe that to each other & to Addi & one's to come.
Mostly I want to be a better Christian. I know being a better Christian will allow me to be a better wife, mom & friend. I am learning to lean on God more & more in my life. To realize that this isn't a life I'm owed here, its a life I was given....and I'm not promised tomorrow. I know that my Addi isn't my Addi, she is His & its my job to teach her about Him. I do love that in the car I can look back at her, hands clasped & lots of mumbling going on....I can make out momma, dadda, yaya, papaw, mammy, eli, anne....and down the list she goes to AMEN. It seriously brings a tear to my eye. Although she doesn't fully understand what she is doing yet I do believe she knows its out of love. My relationship with God is forever changed because of his gift to us, I honestly can not describe the love in my heart for him. I am learning that its ok to be imperfect, it makes me who I am & shows me who I want to be.
So the new year is here......so many things to come. It's the last year I'll have in my 20's & although I thought I might feel differently I can't wait to see what my 30's have in store for me (um...remind me I said that in 1 yr, 1 month and 5 days!!), Josh & I will travel to D.C. together this year, I'll visit NY for the first time ever, more family vacations, my girl will be 2 even if terrible 2's are already here! I'll continue to fight cancer with a vengence & hope that you fight for something too. Whatever it is fight with all you have! I hope to make many new friendships & cherish the one's going on 15 years or more. Whatever life brings you this year I hope that I'm there to share it with you!
I end today with a simple verse from Proverbs 8
"Whoever finds me finds LIFE."
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